OpenAI's Revenue Circus: Sam Altman Says "Enough"?

Sam Altman's Revenue Brag: More Smoke Than Fire?

Okay, so Sam Altman's out there puffing his chest about OpenAI doing "well more" than $13 billion in revenue. Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're rolling in dough… allegedly. But let's be real, that's chump change when you're talking about the kind of compute power these AI models need. It's like bragging about having a full tank of gas when you're about to drive to Mars.

Altman's little spat with Altimeter Capital CEO Brad Gerstner on the Bg2 podcast? Classic. Gerstner brings up the minor detail of OpenAI's trillion-dollar spending commitments, and Altman's response is basically, "Mind your own business, wanna buy some shares?" Real mature, Sam. It’s like a used car salesman getting testy when you ask about the engine.

The Circular Funding Circus

And don't even get me started on this whole "innovative financial model" BS. The New York Times called it "complex and circular deals," which is a polite way of saying it's a house of cards built on IOUs. How OpenAI Uses Complex and Circular Deals to Fuel Its Multibillion-Dollar Rise Microsoft gives OpenAI billions, then OpenAI gives it right back for cloud computing. CoreWeave gets billions, then OpenAI gets a chunk of their stock. SoftBank throws in $40 billion… it’s like watching a money-laundering scheme, except it's all perfectly legal and everyone's patting themselves on the back.

It reminds me of that time I tried to "innovate" my own finances by taking out a loan to pay off another loan. Spoiler alert: didn't end well. Who are we kidding?

The real kicker is that Altman admits they could screw it up. Like, duh. He says the biggest risk is not getting enough computing resources. No kidding, Sherlock. You're building a skyscraper on a swamp and hoping it won't sink. And he wants us to believe that revenue is "growing steeply." Sure, buddy. Tell me another one.

Elon's Right (This Time, Maybe)

Oh, and let's not forget the Elon Musk drama. Altman whining about his Tesla Roadster refund? Give me a break. Musk calling him out for "stealing a non-profit"? I'm not usually on Musk's side – the guy's a walking PR disaster – but he's got a point. OpenAI started as a non-profit, and now it's all about maximizing profit. Remember when they were saving the world? Now they're just trying to beat Microsoft in the AI arms race.

Altman's response is basically, "Elon just wanted to take over OpenAI himself." Maybe he did! But that doesn't excuse the fact that OpenAI sold its soul somewhere along the way.

Enough With the Hype Already

Look, I'm not saying OpenAI is going to collapse tomorrow. But this whole thing stinks of overhyped tech and unsustainable spending. They're building a future on promises and funny money, and sooner or later, the bill's gonna come due. So what's the real story?

It's All Just a Game of Smoke and Mirrors