December's Here. So, About That Market Crash Worry...: Why the 'All Clear' Bell Is Probably BS

Alright, can we all just collectively chill the F out?

"Everything Rally" or Just a Participation Trophy?

The "Everything Rally" and the Usual BS So, November ended with what Bloomberg's calling an "everything rally." Shares, bonds, Bitcoin – suddenly everyone's a winner. The FTSE 100 and S&P 500 even ended up marginally higher. Marginally. Give me a break. It's like celebrating a participation trophy. Every freakin' autumn, the Chicken Littles come out of the woodwork, screaming about the sky falling. But guess what? From September to November, the FTSE 100 *climbed* 5.6%. And over the whole year, it's up 17.68%. Which tells you exactly what? That long-term investors – the ones who aren't glued to their screens every five seconds – are probably doing just fine. It’s December! Can we all stop worrying about a stock market crash now? Timing the market? Forget about it. It's a fool's errand, with ONE exception: when the whole damn thing goes belly up. Then, and only then, do you go bargain hunting. You grab some shares, hold on for dear life, and let those reinvested dividends do their thing. Compounding. It's like magic, except it takes, like, a decade. And December? Who knows. Maybe we'll get the Santa rally, maybe we won't. Depends on what the Fed decides to do. Rate cut? Maybe the market jumps. Maybe it's already priced in and we all end up disappointed. Honestly, trying to predict the market is like trying to predict the weather based on your grandma's arthritis. Good luck with that.

My Portfolio's November Massacre: Thanks, "Good News"!

My Own Personal Stock Disaster Here's my remarkable insight: I have no freakin' clue what's going to happen in December. Nobody does. But I do know this: not every stock held steady in November. My biggest holding, 3i Group (LSE: III), took a nosedive. We're talking a 28.99% crash. The worst performing blue-chip of all. Ouch. That stung. Wiped a nice little chunk off my portfolio in one hit. They've got this whole history of buying struggling companies, fixing them up, and flipping them for a profit. They've also been riding high on their stake in that European discount retailer, Action. Even *I* could see it had climbed too far, too fast, and was due for a pullback. And get this: they posted first-half investment returns of £3.29bn, up 60% from last year. Good news, right? Nope. Shares tanked because of "signs of a slowdown in France." What the hell does that even mean? I'm starting to think that good news is just a setup for disappointment.

AI Apocalypse Delayed: Panic Button Remains Unpressed (For Now)

The AI Bubble That Wasn't (Yet) Remember all the hand-wringing about the AI bubble bursting? The one that was supposed to trigger a massive stock market crash? Yeah, that didn't happen either. Back in '25, everyone was freaking out about how high the market was going, thanks to AI. Nvidia, Microsoft, Apple – all hitting these insane valuations. But here's the thing: markets always correct. It's not a matter of *if*, it's a matter of *when*. And don't even get me started on Trump's tariffs. That was back in 2025, offcourse, but it feels like yesterday that they sent stocks into a tailspin. The worst day since the COVID crash. All because of some trade war BS. So, what's the lesson here? It's not to panic. It's to be prepared. Diversify your investments. Don't put all your eggs in one AI-powered basket. And for god's sake, don't sell everything the moment you see a little red. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe everyone else has got it figured out, and I'm just a grumpy old cynic yelling at the clouds. Nah. So, What's the Real Story? The stock market is a casino with slightly better odds, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.